Their Kids, or how deep-rooted Eastern parenting techniques worsen peer pressure

A universal concept

For those who grew up in an Eastern household, the phrase “Their Kids” might bring about some distinct memories. Most likely, it was your parents who brought it up for the first time in your life. Nobody knows who ‘they’ are. Nobody knows who ‘their kids’ are. Information about them is inconsistent most of the time. The only thing that is constant is that ‘their kids’ are somehow better than you in some ways: they are better at school than you are, they are more obedient than you are, etc…

This is one of the milder examples of many parenting techniques that have been widely used throughout the last century. But why do they have to resort to such harsh measures? 

A warped view

Taking into consideration the value obedience has in Eastern cultures, one may find the root causes for the aforementioned situation. In order to enforce obedience in children, parents in Eastern cultures therefore have to establish a sense of authority in the family, with them at the center. And how do they do it? The less strict parents would of course educate their childs about it. The more strict ones, however, would resort to methods that would be considered humiliation at best, and borderline hazing at worst. Whether this way of thinking is passed across generations, or perhaps our predecessors just have a warped view of the world is left to questions. Even though in the last decade, their use has been less widespread, their effects can be felt clearly in today’s youth.

A generation of problems

The aforementioned use of an invisible 'kid' to humiliate children in order to make them work harder in life therefore may have backfired. Indeed, many children in Vietnam suffer from peer pressure, worsened by strict parenting and a school system heavily reliance on academic performance. It is only natural that they grew up suffering numerous ailments caused by their tendency to compare themselves to others.

The World Health Organization reported that 14.2% of the population in Vietnam suffers from any one of ten common mental disorders, with around 3% of those being signs of depression (World Health Organization, n.d.). Although this figure can be attributed to the more liberal thoughts about mental health as a whole, the childhood trauma caused by harsh parenting methods undoubtedly played a major role as well. The International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies discussed that childhood traumas will have long-lasting effects on a child’s physical and mental health when they grow up (ISTSS, n.d.). Hence, it can be seen that these parenting measures have done irreparable damages to today’s youth.

A step too far?

The pessimists among us may think that these deep-rooted methods may never be completely eliminated, and with the increasing enlightenment about mental health, the troublesome figures of mental illnesses may increase even more in the future. Frankly, though, I believe that the current generation of Gen-Zs, many of whom have been raised using such parenting techniques, may find them abhorrent, and hopefully stay away from using them in the future. 

References

ISTSS. (n.d.). ISTSS - Childhood Trauma. International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies. Retrieved October 28, 2023, from https://istss.org/public-resources/trauma-basics/what-is-childhood-trauma/effects-of-childhood-trauma

World Health Organization. (n.d.). Mental health in Viet Nam. Mental health in Viet Nam. Retrieved October 28, 2023, from https://www.who.int/vietnam/health-topics/mental-health